Author Topic: * Political Jokes  (Read 2752 times)

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Offline Sue

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* Political Jokes
« on: June 03, 2011, 12:53:58 PM »
This picture is worth a trillion $$


House Minority Leader Lawrence F. Cafero Jr., R-Norwalk, pictured standing, far right, speaks while colleagues Rep. Barbara Lambert, D-Milford and Rep. Jack F. Hennessy, D-Bridgeport, play solitaire Monday night as the House convened to vote on a new budget. (AP)

I have been corrected on this photo. It is two years old and of the Ct. Democratic Legislators playing computer games appose to doing their job. Some people seem to think it's ok for them to play computer games if they just have no need to pay attention. I mean after all, it was just their budget.

The guy sitting in the row in front of these two...he's on Facebook, and the guy behind Hennessy is checking out the baseball scores.

These are the folks that couldn't get the budget out by Oct. 1, and are about to control your health care, cap and trade, and the list goes on and on….

Should we buy them larger screen computers - or - a ticket home, permanently?

This is one of their 3-DAY WORK WEEKS that we all pay for (salary is about $179,000 per year).


"At any given moment there is an orthodoxy, a body of ideas which it is assumed all right-thinking people will accept without question. It is not exactly forbidden to state this or that or the other, but it is "not done".
...Anyone who challenges the prevailing orthodoxy finds himself silenced with.

Offline WaltDisney

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« Reply #1 on: June 05, 2011, 10:30:02 AM »
Heard a funny joke yesterday..



Marriage is like a deck of cards.

It Starts out with 2 Hearts and a Diamond.

Later, those cards are traded for a card of Clubs, and has one wishing for a Spade.

"I hardly exaggerate. Jewish life consists of two elements: Extracting money and protesting."
-Nahum Goldmann, Ex-President of the World Jewish Congress

Offline Sue

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« Reply #2 on: June 05, 2011, 09:35:07 PM »
Pretty good, I've never heard that one before....  ;)
"At any given moment there is an orthodoxy, a body of ideas which it is assumed all right-thinking people will accept without question. It is not exactly forbidden to state this or that or the other, but it is "not done".
...Anyone who challenges the prevailing orthodoxy finds himself silenced with.

Offline Sue

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« Reply #3 on: October 20, 2011, 03:25:21 PM »
''That's pretty amazing, Obama winning the Nobel Peace Prize. Ironically, his biggest accomplishment as president so far: winning the Nobel Peace Prize.'' —Jay Leno

''Sarah Palin got an iPad and she was complaining that it's not really that absorbent.'' —Bill Maher

"Great day today! Obama didn't speak. Congress didn't act. Experts on vacation. And the Dow soared 400 points. There's a lesson in there." —Jay Leno

"China has told us our days of squandering borrowed money are over. So maybe we shouldn't tell them we just spent $76 million going to the Smurf movie." —Conan O'Brien

"A man jumped the White House fence, but after a brief chase, the Secret Service was able to talk President Obama into coming back and finishing his term." —Conan O'Brien

"Sarah Palin is bringing her bus to Iowa. She's not going to be part of the debate, just close enough to drown it out. I swear she's going to run for Mayor of Cockblockington." —Jon Stewart

"Michele Bachmann was asked if she was a submissive wife. She said no, but her husband is." —Jay Leno

"Newsweek is taking heat for calling Michele Bachmann 'The Queen of Rage.' Michele says, 'There's only one raging queen in our household, and it's not me.'" —Conan O'Brien

"It turns out that Texas Gov. Rick Perry got a D in Principles of Economics. So he can't be president, but he can get a job on President Obama's economic team." —Jay Leno

"President Obama signed the new debt bill into law. But it doesn't really solve the problem. Economists say in 10 years, the deficit will be $27 trillion. But you know what? In 10 years, that'll be President Bieber's problem." —Jay Leno

"Corporations are people. It's time to remake 'Guess Who's Coming to Dinner' where the daughter brings home an oil rig. You know Spencer Tracy won't want to see his daughter drilled." —Stephen Colbert, on Mitt Romney's declaration that "corporations are people"
"At any given moment there is an orthodoxy, a body of ideas which it is assumed all right-thinking people will accept without question. It is not exactly forbidden to state this or that or the other, but it is "not done".
...Anyone who challenges the prevailing orthodoxy finds himself silenced with.

Offline EyeBelieve

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« Reply #4 on: October 20, 2011, 10:06:46 PM »

Canada was originally spelled Cnd. However, Sir John A. MacDonald had an American secretary when Cnd first became a country. He asked her to write up the documents on the new country, and she asked him how is was spelled. The Prime Minister replied "C, eh. N, eh. D, eh."

Offline Sue

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« Reply #5 on: October 20, 2011, 10:45:30 PM »
LOL... never heard that one.
"At any given moment there is an orthodoxy, a body of ideas which it is assumed all right-thinking people will accept without question. It is not exactly forbidden to state this or that or the other, but it is "not done".
...Anyone who challenges the prevailing orthodoxy finds himself silenced with.

Offline Sue

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« Reply #6 on: January 19, 2012, 11:31:40 AM »
While it is with sincere appreciation and thanks too all the contributors to ''Sushi's Joke Thread'', the story of the hapless captain who never intended to leave the ship (his words) suddenly tripped (no other reports of tripping were recorded amongst the other 4000 passengers) and fell into one of his ship's lifeboats. Now, how 'un-lucky' can you get??? 

For sheer originality and comic content, this surely, deserves to be recognized and recorded for it's supreme entertainment value.

- Captain of crippled ocean liner deserts sinking ship - Article Link
"At any given moment there is an orthodoxy, a body of ideas which it is assumed all right-thinking people will accept without question. It is not exactly forbidden to state this or that or the other, but it is "not done".
...Anyone who challenges the prevailing orthodoxy finds himself silenced with.

Offline FrankDialogue

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« Reply #7 on: January 19, 2012, 12:03:48 PM »

''Sarah Palin got an iPad and she was complaining that it's not really that absorbent.'' —Bill Maher



 ;D  ;D  ;D

Offline Sue

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« Reply #8 on: January 19, 2012, 12:07:38 PM »
;D  ;D  ;D

I have not seen Bill Maher in ages and I rarely watch TV these days. He is pretty good.
"At any given moment there is an orthodoxy, a body of ideas which it is assumed all right-thinking people will accept without question. It is not exactly forbidden to state this or that or the other, but it is "not done".
...Anyone who challenges the prevailing orthodoxy finds himself silenced with.

Offline Sue

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« Reply #9 on: May 10, 2012, 12:10:48 PM »
MISDIRECTION

"At any given moment there is an orthodoxy, a body of ideas which it is assumed all right-thinking people will accept without question. It is not exactly forbidden to state this or that or the other, but it is "not done".
...Anyone who challenges the prevailing orthodoxy finds himself silenced with.

Offline CanadianRose

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« Reply #10 on: May 21, 2012, 10:01:04 AM »
Romney actually looks like he is enjoying it. Obama, not so much.

Offline Sue

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« Reply #11 on: May 21, 2012, 12:02:35 PM »
Romney actually looks like he is enjoying it. Obama, not so much.

There are many of these folks in high places. Welcome to the forum.
"At any given moment there is an orthodoxy, a body of ideas which it is assumed all right-thinking people will accept without question. It is not exactly forbidden to state this or that or the other, but it is "not done".
...Anyone who challenges the prevailing orthodoxy finds himself silenced with.

Offline graybeard

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« Reply #12 on: June 08, 2012, 07:59:35 AM »
Political Lesson of the Day


Today's Lesson

The SNAP (Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program)/Food Stamp Program, administered by the U.S. Department of Agriculture, is pleased to be distributing the greatest amount of free meals and food stamps ever.

Meanwhile, the National Park Service, administered by the U.S. Department of the Interior, asks us to "Please Do Not Feed The Animals." They say that this is because the animals may grow dependent on handouts and not learn to take care of themselves.

Thus endeth today's lesson.

Offline Sue

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« Reply #13 on: March 09, 2013, 02:02:38 PM »
"At any given moment there is an orthodoxy, a body of ideas which it is assumed all right-thinking people will accept without question. It is not exactly forbidden to state this or that or the other, but it is "not done".
...Anyone who challenges the prevailing orthodoxy finds himself silenced with.