Author Topic: A clown walks into a bar  (Read 3150 times)

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Offline Railroad Bum

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A clown walks into a bar
« on: September 24, 2010, 04:14:03 PM »
A clown walks into a bar and orders a gin and tonic. The barman serves him.
A 2nd clown walks into the bar and orders a gin and tonic. The barman serves him.
A 3rd clown walks into the bar and orders a gin and tonic. The barman serves him.
A 4th clown walks into the bar and orders a gin and tonic. The barman serves him.
A 5th clown walks into the bar and orders a gin and tonic. The barman serves him.
...
A 19th clown walks into the bar and orders a gin and tonic. The barman serves him.
A 20th clown walks into the bar and the barman says, "Let me guess: Gin and tonic?"

"No," says the 20th clown. "Just a lemonade for me - I'm the designated driver."
"Hi, Mom, this is Mark Bingham!...you believe me don't you?"

Offline Sue

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Re: A clown walks into a bar
« Reply #1 on: September 24, 2010, 10:49:30 PM »

"No," says the 20th clown. "Just a lemonade for me - I'm the designated driver."

LOL...   ;D
"At any given moment there is an orthodoxy, a body of ideas which it is assumed all right-thinking people will accept without question. It is not exactly forbidden to state this or that or the other, but it is "not done".
...Anyone who challenges the prevailing orthodoxy finds himself silenced with.

Offline Railroad Bum

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Re: A clown walks into a bar
« Reply #2 on: September 25, 2010, 03:56:14 PM »
And here's what happened next: 

Then the twenty clowns left the bar and joined up with the ten additional clowns who were waiting outside (they were too silly to get past the bouncer), and they all piled into a VW Beetle and drove back to the circus, behaving as silly as possible all along the way, so silly that they refused to allow the designated driver clown to drive or even to get out of the space behind the rear seat.  The drunkest clown of all drove!  
« Last Edit: September 25, 2010, 04:09:12 PM by RRBum »
"Hi, Mom, this is Mark Bingham!...you believe me don't you?"

Offline Sue

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Re: A clown walks into a bar
« Reply #3 on: September 25, 2010, 10:24:52 PM »
Oh very funny....   ;D
"At any given moment there is an orthodoxy, a body of ideas which it is assumed all right-thinking people will accept without question. It is not exactly forbidden to state this or that or the other, but it is "not done".
...Anyone who challenges the prevailing orthodoxy finds himself silenced with.

Offline Railroad Bum

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Re: A clown walks into a bar
« Reply #4 on: September 26, 2010, 05:45:16 PM »
And this is what happened next:

Remarkably they all reached the circus alive, tho they sideswiped a few cars and one fire hydrant on the way - and then they all rolled out of the Beetle punching and kicking each other.  It was awful.
"Hi, Mom, this is Mark Bingham!...you believe me don't you?"

Offline Sue

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Re: A clown walks into a bar
« Reply #5 on: September 26, 2010, 11:07:57 PM »
And this is what happened next:

Remarkably they all reached the circus alive, tho they sideswiped a few cars and one fire hydrant on the way - and then they all rolled out of the Beetle punching and kicking each other.  It was awful.

Will there be a happy ending yet to follow?  :P
« Last Edit: January 06, 2014, 02:20:39 PM by Sue »
"At any given moment there is an orthodoxy, a body of ideas which it is assumed all right-thinking people will accept without question. It is not exactly forbidden to state this or that or the other, but it is "not done".
...Anyone who challenges the prevailing orthodoxy finds himself silenced with.

Offline Railroad Bum

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- Re: A clown walks into a bar
« Reply #6 on: December 26, 2013, 04:26:55 PM »
Will a happy ending yet to follow?  :P

I don't know. I forgot.

Meanwhile:

A blind man makes his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. After
sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna
hear a blonde joke?

The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky
voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I
think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five
things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde "biker girl."
3. I'm a 6 foot tall, 175 pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is a blonde and a professional weight-lifter
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously Mister, Do you still wanna tell that joke?

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters,
"Nah...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
"Hi, Mom, this is Mark Bingham!...you believe me don't you?"

Offline Railroad Bum

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- A clown walks into a bar
« Reply #7 on: December 26, 2013, 04:28:40 PM »
P.S.  This old thread came up when I googled "a clown walked into a bar".


 :)
"Hi, Mom, this is Mark Bingham!...you believe me don't you?"

Offline Sue

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- A clown walks into a bar
« Reply #8 on: December 28, 2013, 10:31:55 PM »
cute....  ;)
"At any given moment there is an orthodoxy, a body of ideas which it is assumed all right-thinking people will accept without question. It is not exactly forbidden to state this or that or the other, but it is "not done".
...Anyone who challenges the prevailing orthodoxy finds himself silenced with.

Offline Sue

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- A clown walks into a bar
« Reply #9 on: December 28, 2013, 10:34:07 PM »
Wife by text to husband at work:

"Windows at home frozen - what will I do?"

Husband - "spray some de-icer or pour hot water on them."

Wife a few minutes later - "Done that, now computer won't work at all”.

Calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked right up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, “I would like to buy some cyanide.”

The pharmacist asked, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?”

The lady replied, “I need it to poison my husband.”

The pharmacist’s eyes got big and he exclaimed, “Lord have mercy! I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband! That’s against the law! I’ll lose my license! They’ll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen.

Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!”

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, “Well now, that’s different. You didn’t tell me you had a prescription.”
"At any given moment there is an orthodoxy, a body of ideas which it is assumed all right-thinking people will accept without question. It is not exactly forbidden to state this or that or the other, but it is "not done".
...Anyone who challenges the prevailing orthodoxy finds himself silenced with.

Offline Railroad Bum

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- A clown walks into a bar
« Reply #10 on: January 05, 2014, 08:08:02 AM »
Wife by text to husband at work:

"Windows at home frozen - what will I do?"

Husband - "spray some de-icer or pour hot water on them."

Wife a few minutes later - "Done that, now computer won't work at all”.






Many people do not know that the moving parts on computers need to be lubricated.  If your desktop or laptop computer does not have Zerk fittings you should take an oil gun - a big one like they used to use on steam locomotives is ideal - and squirt oil into all of the openings until the oil overflows.  Then wipe off the excess. Do this once every three months or every 3,000 miles, whichever comes first.
"Hi, Mom, this is Mark Bingham!...you believe me don't you?"

Offline Sue

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- A clown walks into a bar
« Reply #11 on: January 06, 2014, 02:15:06 PM »
A doctor from Israel says: "In Israel the medicine is so advanced that we cut off a man's testicles; we put them into another man, and in 6 weeks he is looking for work."

The German doctor comments:   "That's nothing, in Germany we take part of the brain out of a person; we put it into another person's head, and in 4 weeks he is looking for  work."

A Russian doctor says:  "That's nothing either. In  Russia we take out half of the heart from a person;  we put it into  another person's chest, and in 2 weeks he is looking for  work."

The U.S. doctor answers immediately: "That's nothing my colleagues, you are way behind us....in the USA, about 6  years ago, we grabbed a person from Kenya with no brains, no heart, and no  balls....we made him President of the United States, and now....... the whole  country is looking for work.
"At any given moment there is an orthodoxy, a body of ideas which it is assumed all right-thinking people will accept without question. It is not exactly forbidden to state this or that or the other, but it is "not done".
...Anyone who challenges the prevailing orthodoxy finds himself silenced with.